Spliced
by 13NightsofHalloween
Summary: After Dib and Zim goof up during a field trip Gaz, Penny, Mary, and Zita are turnd in to Irke Hybreds! Romance and hilarity will be fall each of them! This story will contain some unusial pairing and all Teens.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Invader Zim and I make no money off of this.

**Stand back I'm trying to do science!**

* * *

It was a chilled autumn morning with the trees turning lovely shades of reds and yellows. The pleasant views of fall were lost to the children who were sitting in the class room of the evil Miss. Bitters.

"Class I have a few announcements for today. First off tomorrow we will have a field trip." The class began to shout and cheer of the idea of no school! However the ever level headed Zita had a look of concern on her face.

"But Miss. Bitters I thought that even the idea of fun makes you break out in hives?"

"Yes Zita, the thought of it makes me retch… but were going to the Professor Membrane's Museum of Scientific Phenomenon and there's a slight chance some of you might get fed-I-mean eaten by some man eating venues flytraps….. Dib." She hissed under her breath

"UHh! Yes mam?"

"Oh noting just wishful thinking…" she said making dib eye her eerily at the demonic teacher in human disguise.

"On another note were getting a new student, say hello to Gaz Membrane." Miss. Bitters pointed to the door as it swung opened by itself to revel Dib's scary purple haired sister at the door.

"GAZ!? What did you do to Mr. Elliot!?" Dib screamed.

"If she's did anything to that fool he's had it coming, unfortunately that's not the case. Gaz is here because she's more advance than those little idiots in her previous class." Miss Bitters explained to the class.

Gaz walked over to the seat that previously owned by Tak and began to listen to Miss Bitters describe the horrible ways a person could die from a paper clip.

* * *

The day of the trip came and Miss Bitters began to assign the class in to groups.

"All right now I was Zita, Mary, Penny, Gaz, Zim, and Dib in one large group the others I don't care just pair up into groups of two or more."

Why are we such a large group?" Dip asked.

"Because Zita and Gaz are my favorite students and the man eating plants may eat you first instead of them… NOW EVERY ONE GET!" she hissed evilly.

Not waiting another minute the kids all darted off in different directions, with Zim's group darting off in to the genetics wing of the Museum.

The genetics wing held many of Professor Membranes experiments on DNA as a monotone voce filled the hallways. "_DNA is the building blocks of life. Everyone has their own genetic code…."_

While the group was looking at the Frankenstein like creatures and DNA models they came across a creature in a pin.

"OOO! It's a pug and an octopus combined!" Mary said excitedly.

"Umm, I think how and why overlap the coolness of it." Zita said unsure of the ugly thing looking at them excitedly like a puppy.

"So that's were spot when to…" Gaz said while making clicking noises at the happy creature.

"Aww it's playing with a ball!" Penny said making the girls and Dib look at the pug-o-puss's antics.

Zim however rolled his, eyes how foolish of humans to be so easily distracted by the creature. Zim's bored gaze snapped into attention when they landed on a gene splicer ray gun. So that's how the smart human made the pug-o-pus! And in Zim's mind came all the delightfully evil things he could do with it! Like turn a certain Dib-monkey into a moose, or a bee!

Zim gleefully grabbed for the device only to have his joy cut short when Dib grabbed hold of the gun too.

"Not to day space boy!" Dib shouted trying to wrestle the gun from him.

"GGRR! Insolent fool boy relinquish the gun to ZIM!" Zim shouted shaking the gun back and forth.

"Is Dib and Zim fighting again?" Mary said not taking her eyes off the creature.

"Yeah, sounds like it." Zita replied her eyes on the pug-o-pus too.

"Should we do something?" Penny asked watching the creature roll around

"There big boys now they'll get tired eventually." Gaz said tossing a cookie into the pen.

"Let go Dib-stink! Zim will have your large head as a foot rest for my Tallest when they arrive for the invasion!" Zim shouted trying to get the gun from the human.

"MY. HEAD. IS. NOT. BIG!" Dib shouted violently snatching the gun cutting the Irken on the arm.

"GAH!" Zim shouted as green blood landed on the gun's DNA panel making it glow.

As they continued to struggle the gun went off firing at the girls.

"EEEKKK!" At first the girls were too stunned to move. When a moment passed the girls slowly turned their heads to look at the boys making said boys hearts sink into their shoes.

"Dib what was that?" Gaz said with an undertone of malice.

"Uhh! It was nothing! Yeah nothing happened to you so it was nothing!" Dib tried to brush off the incident to sooth is evil sister.

Zim however was looking at the brother and sister stands off with amusement and tried to stifle a chuckle.

Sadly for Zim There teacher found them and announced "Alright time to go!"

"It's so early Miss Bitters." Mary said in confusion.

"Yes but one of the other students caught the plague in the horrible deses wing and we have been asked to leave." Miss Bitters stated motioning for the group to leave.

* * *

The sun was peeking through the blinds of Dib's room were Dib was peacefully dreaming little Dib dreams when suddenly he was violently jerked awake.

"DIB. YOU. WILL. PAY." Came the frightful demand of his sister. Dib blearily reached for his glasses to fine Gaz was different!

Her skin held a light green tone, her eyes looked like Zim's red ones but hers was purple, and on top of her head were two furiously twitching antennas!

"Gaz what happened!?" Dib shouted in confusion.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Gaz said sarcastically as she lunged for him and missed her target.

"Let it be known Dib, that on this day until the end of day's I shall rein terror upon your giant head! You will not know peace ever again!" Gaz hissed stalking toward him.

Dib squeaked and ran out of his room but was cut short when the front door slammed opened to revel Mary, Zita, and Penny who looked like Gaz!

"Oh Dib what did you do to us." Penny said sweetly and irritably at the same time.

"We'll hang you with your organs!" Zita said angrily.

Dib made a squeak and franticly looked around for any way out. Seeing only one Dib jumped out the window and ran to the creepy house also known as Zim's base.

Zim was addressing a matter of most importance this morning in the top layer of his base.

"Skoooge! How did you get here?!"

"Hes been sleeping in the closet!" Gir said happily.

"Well I conquered my planet so I've been living in your basement!"

"_I conquered my planet so…. me! meeeh! Meeeeh!"_ "Stop rubbing it in my face!" Zim shouted irritably.

Before Zim could kick the other Irken out the front doors burst open by a frantic Dib knocking down the robot parents and retreating into Zim's underground lab screaming like a mad man all the way.

"Heeeh? DIB-STINK HOW DARE HE ENTER THE HOUSE OF ZIM!" the Irken screamed as he chased after him followed by Skooge, Gir, and Minimoose.

Zim and his little quarry arrived in to the lab with Dib looking around franticly around much to Zim's annoyment.

"Dib human get out of the house of ZIM! Have you got a case of the brain worms?" Zim asked annoyed and confused.

"SHHHH! Listen!..." Dib hissed at the loud alien.

"What is wrong with-?" Zim was cut short when Dib covered his face with his hands.

"Quiet! They can sense fear!" Dib harshly whispered looking around scared.

"… how good is there hearing?" Skooge asked in fear.

"_ZIM THERE IS…BUUUUUZZZZZ….." _the computer tried to warn the group of the upcoming doom.

"CRRAAAASSSHHHH! CCCRRRRREEEEEKKK!" the entrance to the lab was forced opened as the four girls furiously broke in to Zim's lab.

"AAAHHHH!" the Irkens and human both screamed in fear as they lunged at them with murder in their eyes.

"GAH! Dib-stink what did you do!?" Zim shouted as they tried to avoid the rampage by fleeing in panic.

"What I did! You did it!"

"ME!? What part of my brilliance was made in to those demon-pig-smellies!?" Zim hissed back.

"That gene splicer gun must've work cuz that's my sister and Penny and Mary and Zita!" Dib shouted back as they round the corner.

"HEEEHH!?"

"You don't get it!? You idiot! I'm starting to believe your no harm to earth!"

"Stop speaking nonsense and explain to Zim!"

"GAZ, ZITA, PENNY, AND MARRY ARE NOW HALF IRKEN!" Dib could not take any more of the alien's ignorance and shouted to the top of his lungs.

"Half Irken!?" Zim shouted and turned his head back to see Gaz taking up the lead of the furious pack.

"Minimoose smoke screen!" Zim shouted coming up with an idea.

"Meep!" Minimoose squeaked and coughs up a smoke ball that exploded at the girls feet.

Zim quick on his feet turned in to the dust cloud and located Gaz and began to furiously rub her antennas. Gaz tried to swat at him but soon lost the urge to kill and began to purr. And as the dust began to settle the girls grew calm and coherent.

"Zim that was….impressive…. never thought I'd hear myself say that." Dib said in awe at his calm sister.

"HUMP! It's easy Dib-monkey, if the leader has no desire to fight neither dose the pack!" Zim said sure of himself.

"Zim what are we and is there a way for us to change back?" Zita asked looking hope full.

* * *

**This is based off a doodle I did of Gaz as and Irken I thought it was a cute idea and decide to go with it! There will be a lot more pairings and I hope you all enjoy my story. ^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Learn to be NoRMal**

* * *

Zim sat staring at the computer screen he sat there for hours devising ways to cure the girls. But each attempt failed dismally he couldn't have all them half irken they would jeopardize the mission!

"Compute run test number 372-93 on the Gaz beast!" Zim yelled indicating toward the holographic image of Gaz in the front of him.

"I don't think submerging them in oil would do any good Zim." the computer said back to him.

"GGRRR! Well what else should I do!? All the other test will exterminate them and if that happens there parental units will come! And if there parental unites come I'll be discovered and the All Mighty ZIM will be nothing more than an autopsy video!" Zim wailed in out in frustration.

"Look Zim, get them on your side then when the planet has been taken over you can take the females with us to irk."

"Why should Zim aligned himself with these Irken-Pig-Smellies!?" Zim asked outraged.

"So We's can have new friends to make bed time forts and monkey bread!" Gir shrieked in joy and stuck his tong out.

"GUUHH! No Gir we will not dine on the bread made of monkeys! Now get down from there!" Zim yelled at Gir who was sitting on top of the computer screen.

"Zim really, theirs like five female Irkens on Irk! You could use them for breeding partners." His computer stated.

"Nonsense! We mighty Irkens are bread by tubes!" Zim argued defiantly.

"Zim the gean pool is very limited and the test tube smeets are just to keep the numbers up, you probably have like fifty brothers you don't know about."

"Hmmmm…" Zim pondered a moment humans are stupid but durable, combined that with the mighty irken brains….

"MASTER GONNA HAVE BABBIES!?" Gir shrieked as he grabbed hold of Zim's collar in oblivious joy.

"Ga! Get off of you master Gir! Obey Me!" Zim yelled at the robot as bright red numbers appeared on the computer screen.

"Zim, it's time for you to go to the educational center." The computer said in a monotone voice as a large tube appeared from the celling around Zim and Gir hoisting them to the top floor. Zim manages to escape the clutches of Gir as the TV in the living room began to talk about tacos. Taking this distraction Zim quickly through on his disguise and ran out the door and promptly smashed in to something hard and soft at the same time.

"GRRRRR…!"

"Zim get off my sister!" Dib yelled as he pulled the green offender off of his sibling.

"Humph! It's your little sisters fault for…. Hmmm…. You all look human." Zim stated confused as he looked at the seemingly normal human girls. Their skin returned to pink, eyes normal colors of white instead of one color and each one wore bows and head bands.

"How did you pig smellies reverse the gene splicing!?" the idea they were smarter that him really irked him.

"We didn't were all wearing makeup." Mary's small voice said gesturing toward her face.

"Makes up?"

"War paint you idiot. Let's get going I'd rather not be in detention with you people." Gaz stated irritably at the clueless alien.

"Hey!" Zim objected but was cut off before he could start rambling.

"Zim did you figure out how to revers it?" Dib asked as the group started to move toward Skool with Gaz leading the way.

"…*Sweat*"

"Oh great don't tell me the great Irken race can't separate gens? Aren't you supposed to belong to the mightiest and intelligent race?" Dib said irritably but not so surprised.

"DO NOT INSUTLT THE MIGHTY IRKEN RACE YOU FITLY DIRT….UHHhh…. PIG!"

"Then why not!? Why can't you fix my sister!? And why isn't Mary, Penny, and Zita more concern about this?" Dib howled in frustration.

"The reason the females are not fretting on being honored to have mighty irken blood in their veins is because of your sister Dib stink." Zim said mater of factly.

"What?" Dib stopped short almost causing another collision with Zim.

"Your sister is clearly the alpha female and if she doesn't care about it they don't. Yes your sister is clearly the strongest of the group and is clearly there leader… she may prove useful…" Zim ended his banter taping his fingers together sinisterly.

Dib opened his mouth toward the alien not to mess with his litter sister but quickly came to reality.

"Wait this is Gaz if Zim tries anything she'll rip his arms off and feed them to him." Dib muttered to himself.

"What was that Meat sack?"

"We're goanna be late for Skool!

As the duo rushed over to the girls who had gotten a huge head start while they were arguing. But there mad dash to the educational system from hell Dib over hears two men talking on the corner.

"I swear Frank it was a werewolf! An old man dressed like a sea captain with an octopus on his head was saying to a larger built male with brown hair and beard.

"Yeah right…. And my names not Frank." He told the captain.

"Werewolf!? Where?" Dib stopped as Zim smacked into his back at full force making them both fall.

"Huh? Oh eye lad! A large ghastly beast ten foot tall! Large gangly teeth! And was an unearthly color!"

"Woah! Where did you see it?" Dib asked excitedly as Zim looked annoyed.

"At the park at night around ten or so." He said looking up and stroking his beard.

"GAA! Enough of this old one's rambling Zim is late!" Zim said rushing pas Dib who followed behind him.

"Gorden why were you at the park?" the big man asked the captain.

"I'm married to a squirrel."

As the school day ended after Miss. Biters demonstrated voodoo on dib for the past hour said boy was walking with a bit of a limp.

"Ouch…. Anny way Gaz I want you to go with Zim and…."

"What was that…." Gaz said slowly as she looked up from her game.

"I know it's a weird request…."

"You don't know the half of it." Gaz said as she put the game in her pocket.

"I want you to learn about your new body and as sick as it makes me, Zim is the only one who can help you and the other girls."

"Why I can figure out stuff myself."

"You I have no problems with it's the others im worried about… plus I give you 20 bucks."

"Fine have fun with your paranormal stuff." Gaz said as she took the bill Dib handed to her and went with Zim who had the other girls waking behind him as Dib headed to the park.

Hours passed at Dib awaited patiently in the park as the full moon rose up high in the sky casting a glow on the ground. He was getting a little drowsy when suddenly he hears howling in the distance and begins to follow it.

The woods began to slowly come to life with eerie sounds and cry's from all around him but he still carried on. The noises didn't bother him that much but it was when everything suddenly got quiet… like nature itself was scared to make a noise. He put on a brave face and marched forward eyes and ears alert. When suddenly two glowing orbs appeared out of the corner of his vision.

WAMP! He came crashing down on the ground as he was pinned down by an unknown monster. He heled his breath bracing for the worst when suddenly a wet slimly tongue assaulted his face!

"GA! YUCK!" Dib said as he wiped his glasses off to see a large purple wolf like beast in front of him. Putting on his glasses his vision cleared and he took noticed of the beast. Dark purple fur, large front teeth like it has buck teeth, and three ponytails on its head and large brown eyes!

"Gretchen! You're the werewolf!" Dib said in shock as the Gretchen wolf picke up Dib in her mouth and began to trot around.

Mean while…

"NO NO NO! YOU FOOLS ARE NOT WORTHY OF BEING CALLED SOLDJERS!" Zim was yelling holding his antennas in his hands.

The girls were in many forms of disarray. Mary was hanging upside down trapped in the computers wires above head. Penny was covered in goo and stuck to a wall. As Zita was franticly scratching herself with her legs much like a dog. And Gaz was glaring at Zim irritably.

"We don't call ourselves soldiers you idiot!" Gaz yelled at him as she grabbed a large pipe and smacked him in the head.

"Is it break time?" Mary said weakly.

The Gretchen wolf was carrying dib in her mouth as she headed away from the woods and to her home. Crawling through the window to her room she gently placed him down on her rug and turned back in to her human self.

"Gretchen you're a werewolf!?" dib shrieked again.

"Yes its true." Gretchen said looking down.

"You were the one that stole the old man's hand!"

"Huh, no I left you a note saying there's a werewolf on your desk this morning didn't you see it?"

"No…. why did you leave a note anyway?" Dib asked confused.

"Because… Because….. I…. I know how much you like paranormal suff and though you would like a interview with a werewolf!" she quickly stated rubbing the back of her head.

Dib had a feeling like she wasn't telling the truth. Before he could call her on it he glanced at her clock on the wall.

"Woha its late I got to walk my sister home! I have to have the interview later! Bye." Dib said as he rushed out the window.

"Sight… run little rabbit run but soon I shall catch you." Gretchen dreamily whispered.


End file.
